Want to fail at managing your personal budget and never achieve your financial goals? Then follow our advice diligently, and you’ll soon be penniless!
Contents
- 1 Train Your Memory
- 2 Don’t Complicate Life with Details
- 3 Make “Miscellaneous Expenses” Your Main Budget Item
- 4 Play the “Guess What Was Bought” Game
- 5 Ignore the “Savings” Category
- 6 Never Analyze Budget Numbers
- 7 Never Plan Next Month’s Expenses
- 8 Hide Loans and Borrowings
- 9 Never Discuss the Budget as a Family
- 10 Record All Monetary Transactions in a Notebook and Always Carry It with You
Train Your Memory
Obviously, an income and expense spreadsheet is designed to complicate your life. After all, it requires effort to enter data daily. It’s much more convenient to fill it out once a month from memory. Besides, memorizing numbers trains your gray matter. And if you forget about some purchases — no problem! Let them slip through the cracks.
This way, it seems like you’ve spent very little money in a month. And realizing your own thrift always boosts your mood.
Don’t Complicate Life with Details
Combine all income and expenses into two categories — “Salary” and “General Expenses.” Why bother with such trifles as bank cashback, a jackpot you hit at Koi Fortune, and a daily cup of coffee? These are just measly cents that will dissolve in the two main categories.
This way, you’ll avoid the hassle of tracking budget “black holes.” If you don’t know how much you’re spending, you sleep better. That means you always have enough money!
Make “Miscellaneous Expenses” Your Main Budget Item
Send any unclear or inconvenient expense to this magical column. For example, taxi rides, phone bills, an extra cup of coffee. Basically, anything you’re too lazy to categorize separately.
Thanks to this line, you’ll always be sure that the money went to something important, you just don’t know exactly what.
Play the “Guess What Was Bought” Game
Can’t remember what exactly you spent the money on? Introduce an encryption system: $10 — “groceries,” $50 — “household item.” When it’s time to analyze expenses, the game will become incredibly exciting!
Ignore the “Savings” Category
Savings are a relic of the past. Why save when you can spend everything today? You should live in the here and now, and fate will take care of the future.
Never Analyze Budget Numbers
Analyzing numbers is nothing but a headache and unnecessary responsibility. Let the numbers live their quiet life peacefully, while you devote this time to watching a series or eating pizza. Online cinema subscription and pizza will be written off as “miscellaneous expenses.”
The less you understand what’s happening with your money, the fewer chances there are for frustration and anxious thoughts about the need to adjust expenses.
Never Plan Next Month’s Expenses
Don’t restrict yourself to a strict budget when every day can be an adventure. Today you’ll unexpectedly buy a new smartphone, and tomorrow you’ll go on a grand shopping spree.
Let life throw surprises your way. Improvisation is your everything!
Hide Loans and Borrowings
You can leave loans for electronics, clothes, and cosmetics out of the spreadsheet to avoid scaring yourself with numbers. Let the debt amount remain a pleasant surprise until the end of the month when the bank will politely remind you about it.
Never Discuss the Budget as a Family
This is the perfect way to turn family life into an interesting quest. Just imagine: the wife walks around with a mysterious smile, the husband keeps silent, and the children sincerely believe that parents will draw as much money as they need.
It’s interesting to guess what your partner plans to spend their salary on and why only a couple of dollars remain in the account at the end of the month.
Record All Monetary Transactions in a Notebook and Always Carry It with You
Try not to leave the notebook in a cafe or lose it in the subway. And how much dexterity you need to record expenses on the go! A circus acrobat would envy you! If someone takes an interest in your records, say you’re encrypting and making a plan to take over the world — this will add an adventurous spirit to your everyday life!
Follow this advice, and we guarantee: your personal budget will collapse in a matter of months.
Share this post